MCU text messages
by Z02f
Summary: One shot series featuring MCU characters texting each other. Including the Avengers, GotG, and many others. Crossposted on Ao3.
1. Chapter 1: Avengers GotG

Chat room created by: Tony Stark.  
Stark added Barton, Rogers, Quill, Rocket and Groot.

* * *

Rogers: What's going on?

Rogers: Who is Quill, Rocket and Groot?

 _Groot: I am Groot!_

Rogers: It's nice to meet you Groot.

 _Groot: I am_ Grooott

Rogers: I know your name, you already told me.

 _Groot: I am... Groot?_

 _Rocket: He can only say 3 words and type 3 words. I am Groot, also in that order only._

 _Quill: Yea, but after awhile you start understanding him. Also, it's nice to meet you Mister Roger._

Stark: I do believe there should be a 'Captain' in there.

 _Quill: Okay? It's nice to meet you ~Captain~ Rogers._

Rogers: You too, uh, Quill. May I ask how you gotten roped into this?

 _Quill: No clue! One minute we were flying to Nowhere, and the next we're on this chat!_

Stark: Nowhere?

Rogers: ?

 _Rocket: y'know, the place where a bunch of thief and smugglers live?_

Stark: We are earthlings, who had never left.

 _Groot: I am Groot!_

 _Rocket: Yea! I can't believe it either, buddy! Being on the same ol' planet all the damn time!_

 _Quill: Hey! Earth isn't that bad, man, don't dis earth!_

 _Rocket: Whatever you say, Star ~idiot._

Barton: Uh, Stark, Rogers, what the hell is going on?

Rogers: I don't know, Clint, apparently these three are not on this planet.

 _Groot: I am Groot!_

 _Quill: We're heading towards Nowhere to make a trade._

 _Quill added: Gamora and Drax_

Rogers: Trade what, exactly?

 _Quill: Oh, y'know, things._

Stark: What kind of things?

 _Rocket: Things._

 _Groot: I am Groot!_

 _Rocket: Shh! You don't tell that to them, you idiot._

 _Groot: I am Groot!_

Rogers: What is going on?

Barton: No clue, but it seems somewhat illegal, whatever they are doing.

 _Groot: I -am- Groot!_

 _Rocket: Fine! Tell them, I don't care!_

 _Gamora: Tell them what?_

 _Quill: What we're doing at the moment._

 _Drax: Are we not going to Nowhere to find where that Gem may be?_

 _Rocket: *facepalms*_

Rogers: You aren't going to steal it, are you?

 _Rocket: Psh, us steal something?_

 _Quill: We would never!_

 _Groot: I am Groot!_

 _Rocket: SHHH!_

Barton: Did you know I used to be an assassin?

 _Gamora: No, though I am known as the deadliest woman in the Galaxy. Thanos trained me to be the perfect weapon._

Barton: in basic words, you're an assassin.

Stark: Doing illegal things at nowhere?

 _Quill: No, and yes!_

 _Quill: ... Hey! We didn't pick this life, it picked us!_

 _Quill: FINE, WE PICKED THE DAMN LIFE. GAMORA STOP HITTING ME NOW!_

Stark: What the hell?

Barton: I almost want to leave, but I'm afraid I'll miss something.

Rogers: You're criminals?

 _Rocket: Well, duh._

 _Gamora: Ex-criminals. Our records have been cleaned after we saved Xander._

Rogers: Tony did you know this?

Stark: Pssh, no. I thought they were heroes!

 _Quill: We are, just_ more gray _than you guys._

Rogers: Like we need anymore people who's morally gray.

 _Groot: I am Groot!_

 _Rocket:_ yea _, yeah. We gotta go, cya Avengers later._

 _Quill: Also, if you guys ever do end up in space, don't mention knowing us. It might not end well for you, sorry, man!_

 _Groot, Rocket, Quill, Gamora, and Drax has logged off._

Barton: Well that was fun.

Rogers: Tony?

Stark: Yes?

Rogers: What did you do?

Stark: Gotten us some allies, of course!

* * *

Alright! So, this is crossposted on Ao3, this is a one-shot collection of text messages/group chats between characters in the MCU, right now is 10 chapters planned, so here is chapter 1 of 10. Next is of Stark and Peter. This chapter itself is an AU, don't really think it fits anywhere in the MCU universe just yet. Most of these one-shots are going to be connected to the movies, and tv series (Daredevil, Jessica Jones and Luke Cage not included, seeing as I'm a little young to watch MA shows). So, I guess you could say they're somewhat connected too? If you like this little one-shot, let me know by _following, favoriting or_ , I don't know, _reviewing_?


	2. Chapter 2: Parker and Stark

**Private message room made by Tony Stark.**

* * *

Tony: Hey, kid, got a question for you.

 _Peter: uh, okay?_

Tony: Would it be alright if I asked your totally hot aunt out?

 _Peter: What? She's my aunt, Mister Stark!_

Tony: ...So that's a yes?

 _Peter: No! I don't want my aunt dating anyone! Especially a superhero!_

Tony: Actually I'm not a superhero, my suit does everything (which I made), unlike you and others I'm not enhanced.

 _Peter: Um, okay? It's just, why my aunt May?_

Tony: Well, for one she's hot.

A few seconds later;

Tony: Wait, Pete, you don't want me to be your Uncle? That hurts, kid.

 _Peter: I didn't mean it that way, Mister Stark! I'm sure you'll be a good uncle. It just... She's my aunt May!_

Tony: *Rolls eyes* Oh, dear, it seems someone doesn't want a rich uncle.

Tony: Relax, kid, it'll probably only be one tiny lil' date.

 _Peter: ..._

Tony: C'mon kid, it'll be fun!

 _Peter: why me?_

Tony: Cause you're amazing, kid! Thanks.

 _Peter is typing._

Tony Stark logged off.

 _Peter: WAIT, WHAT? NO, MISTER STARK!_

* * *

Just a little note on these one-shots, some will have cursing, others will not. Also, I'm probably gonna update weekly up until the last text one-shot; however tomorrow you guys should be getting the last one for this week. In case I didn't get Peter right, I've only seen Civil War once, and right now that's the only movie out with him (Well, until Homecoming, of course). Oh, one thing to remember guys, these one-shots will go from the Avengers, GotG, AoS, Ant-man... Some will be private chats, some will be group chats.

To the Guest reviewer last chapter, I was kind of worried I didn't get them right, so thank you! Hopefully, you'll continue to enjoy the one-shots.

Follow, favorite and review?


	3. Chapter 3: Barton and Romanoff

**Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff private chat.**

* * *

Barton: So, Nat, think we should tell them?

Romanoff: Please, if they hadn't found it out now, then they'll still be looking until he decides he wants to be found out.

Barton: Yeah, imagine their faces! It's gonna be hilarious.

Romanoff: Ha, especially Stark's and Roger's.

Barton: Thor might know, 'cause of his friend... Hemball?

Romanoff: It's Heimdall, idiot.

Barton: yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways! How long do you think it'll take em, Nat?

Romanoff: Knowing them? Give them a couple of years, probably. That, or he shows up and says 'I'm not dead, but I need help'.

Barton: true, knowing Coulson, something like that might happen. That or his 'Secret Warriors' will need help.

Romanoff: I can't believe he replaced us.

Barton: Well, I did retire.. and you joined the Avengers full time.. and leaked out all the SHIELD info for the world to know. I actually understand why he didn't try to grab us.

Romanoff: F*ck off, Barton.

Barton: Love you too, Nat. Oh, Laura and the kids wants to know when you're coming over again?

Romanoff: Next weekend, hopefully. That is if no Avenger business comes up. You could always help, you know?

Barton: haha, funny Nat. I'll help every once and awhile, but that's about it.

Barton: Strangest thing, Daisy just added me to a group chat that has her, Coulson and a few others.

Romanoff: ooooh, add me to it.

Barton: Uh, no can do, Nat.

Romanoff: Why not?

Barton: cause.

Romanoff: 'cause' why?

Barton: ...

Barton logged off.

Romanoff: WHAT THE HELL BARTON?

* * *

As you can guess, this chapter is 'bout Coulson. Until next time! Which should be an actual group chat.

Follow, favorite and review anyone?


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